It is the little things in life that make it all matter. That little "Thank you", that little "I'm sorry", that little action of help, that little piece that gives clarity to a gigantic puzzle. It is also the little things that make it all crumble. That little prick that can cause a huge balloon to burst. That little "No" that can change someone's life negatively; sometimes forever.
Okay enough of my yapping. You probably already get it. The idea of this post is how little things can totally mess you up if you give it the power to and I have a great analogy to go with it.
I had two functions this past weekend. One, a bridal shower and the other a musical concert. Both on the same day and very very important. I also need to mention that my week ended in quite an anticlimax so my weekend started in a not so interesting fashion. Did I also mention that I have been battling depression for almost a year? Story for another post. Anyway, by that Saturday morning, I was quite messed up. First because I had gotten the worst bridal shower gift ever in the history of bridal showers with the exact same amount I would have used to get something quite decent. Let us not even go the route of my bank account. Secondly, my hair was 700 shades of shabby and I had very limited cash as I only had money in an account I did not have a debit card for.
In all honesty, I pride myself for self control over my emotions because the Cynthia of last 4 months would have started contemplating suicide. Okay let me not pride myself yet. Anyway, I tried to have a tiny beam of optimism in my pessimistic outlook. I had planned to try to make sure my hairdo would fit my budget (One of my friends said I looked like a deformed Unicorn when she saw my hair later that night). Lol. Moving on, transportation to the venues of my engagement was also a big issue as I am still waiting for God to pick his call on my car matter. I was in a little bit of luck because the account I had money in is affiliated to my Uber account. Let's not even go to my bank account matter. The truth is, I had to be at my functions because they were ultra important: end of story. So transportation was painfully sorted out. I decided to pick out the outfit for the day as the bridal shower had a black dress and running shoes related theme. I really need you to see how I have been able to keep all the issues that were tempting my emotional demons under control. Black dress: check. Wedge sneakers: check. Fish nets (oh yeah I had to add a little bit of kinky) : check. Neckpiece: check. My favourite loop earrings:-------
I suddenly couldn't find the loudest piece of ear jewellry in my jewellry bag and box. If you know me very well, you definitely will understand that loop earrings are bae. Convenient, chic, and it fits whatever unicorn hairstyle you have on. You should understand that even as inconsequential and as little as these earrings were, in the sense that I could have easily replaced them with another set of slightly old loop earrings, it was that little effort that was needed to tear my world apart.
Oh Lord, I cried. I wailed. I screamed. Everything suddenly stopped making sense. I remembered every little thing that was wrong with my life (which was everything at that particular moment). I honestly wanted it all to end. Why would my earrings not be available when I needed them to be? Who cares if it is not the only one I have. Those were the particular ones I wanted. By this time my people, my clothes were all on the floor, my jewellry were scattered all over, my bed was overturned, in short, my room was the exact spelling of mayhem.
I'm sure by now you all know the exact problem were not the earrings. It just served as a gateway to all the stuff I had compressed and suppressed over time. Fast forward to about 1 bucketful of tears and a teary nap later, I decided to put myself together. Good news is that I made my hair, got to the bridal shower before the bride and made it to the concert afterwards. Although I was a little late to the show, I could hardly remember my painful ordeal earlier in the day as many hugs, smiles and of course the good music all soothed my aching soul.
We see people go about their daily activities without the slightest idea of what they go through in their private space. I guess the moral of this story is to invest in the little things that can brighten someone else's day and to be sensitive enough to stay away from the little things that could hurt their feelings. Trust me, it's mostly the little things.
And yeah, I eventually wore my other loop earrings as I remembered that I forgot my favourite ones on a film set I was on the past weekend, Rest in peace loopy...Rest in peace.
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