The $5k Bae

As at this morning, the Naira against the Dollar was 240:1. A lot better than it has been in the past weeks. Matter of fact,the best it has been in almost a month.
No dear friends, I am not here to talk about the economy of our dear country Nigeria. Not because I don't care but because I honestly believe that nothing I do right now can change it. Call me the antichrist of change if you want. I.could.care.less.
I know you can sense the annoyance in my mind's voice. I am not angry at you my darling reader. I shall share my hurt with you but first, for the sake of this post, every time you see the exclamation mark "!", know I am angry. Every time you see it more than once, know I am tapping my feet in addition and I am losing my frigging mind!!!! Arrrrrrggggghhhhh....
Calm down Artemis...
Breathe...
Maybe this issue contributed to my shitty mood last night which I carried over into this morning.
You are probably like "Bitch tell us what it is already".
Hmmmm... Sooooo, yesterday, I was just scrolling through my twitter jejely. I noticed the recurrent words were "boyfriend" "allowance" '$5k". I decided to probe as usual. Only for me to stumble upon 2 tweets that dampened my spirit. One girl tweeted that her ex-boyfriend used to give her five thousand dollars every month...
Another girl said that her current bf gives her 200,000 thousand Naira every month and she doesn't know what type of boys other girls are dating.
!
!!
!!!
I could care less about the authenticity of their claims. It could be true. Let us act like it is true. Action!!!!
So there are people who give other people 5k dolls just for being an unceremonial partner?
Wait first. 5000 x 240 = 1,200,000 Naira my people of God... One! Point! Two! Million! Frigging! Naira!!!!
Monthly o, not annually. See that's my rent, a car and production of a full mixtape. For some of my bourgeois friends, this might not mean anything to you but it made my own heart bleed.
Wake up every morning, go to work to earn a hard living, come back late nights, fantasizing about dreams that finances have kept as dreams... yet there is a boy roaming about the surface of the earth giving his girlfriend $5k...

I don't even know who to feel more sorry for: those who currently have baes that are trying to make ends meet or we the baeless. I think the baeless clan should win the pity party because the ones that have struggling baes still have 1 bird in hand. We...we have no 5kdolls, no bird, no hand, no bush, no nothing!!!!!
As much as I would like this piece to crash out in anger, I guess the whole point of this is that,  different strokes for different folks... Some situations emerge that leave us steady wishing that we were in the next person's shoes...but we do not know their story... we do not know what the next person's story is. For all we know, she might be hanging upside down,bound in chains every night doing Monkey in the drunken shadow style to collect D.(that was just to make myself feel better lmao) We only know ours so it is our duty to try....I know this is hard....even for me the faux advisor....but let us try to make sure our story has a resolute end.
Baba God, if my story by any chance has a $5k page, please pick up the call.

Disclaimer: No punctuation was hurt in the making of this post.

Don't Give Them Too Much You.

"Don't give 'em too much you
Don't let 'em take control
It's one thing you do
Don't let 'em taint your soul
If you believe in God
One thing's for sure
If you ain't aim too high
Then you aim too low"

-J.Cole 

My hiphop fanatic friends probably already know where this post is headed by merely reading the title. Did I mention I am a female rapper? Story for another day. Anywaaaay, for my less hiphop inclined readers, the above quoted lines were culled from a song called "January 28th" by a popular American rapper called J.Cole.

Don't give them too much you... 

Life generally reeks of dependency... From depending on your mother for life from the womb till you can single handedly buy or cook your own food,(lol) to depending on parents or guardians for livelihood and education, to depending on God and Nigeria for a job to....Let me spare you the burden of reading the longest sentence ever. I am sure you get my drift.

After all this dependency, it is only right that you feel a sense of debt. To that friend who helped you secure that nice job.To that uncle who gave you a start up loan for your business. To that girl who introduced you to your current wife. To Mum and Dad.

If you are now blessed with mushy emotions and an overly healthy conscience like mine, ahhh, "the matter have now worsten".

Here is the good news... It is actually completely fine to have a deep sense of gratitude to whoever or whatever has made your life a little more bearable and colorful.

Here is the truth: Unfortunately only a few humans have learnt the art of taming their manipulative tendencies.

If you are consciously made to slave (physically, emotionally, psychologically, financially and otherwise) for anything or anybody; whether they are helpers, or you do it out of obligation,(siblings, spouse, family in general) You need to check yourself before you wreck yourself.

Never forget that YOU are a critical player in whatever script it is. Your personality or your potential definitely played a part in attracting whatever favour you got. Well if those two were not in play, then it was just your frigging luck.

If anybody should make you feel any less of yourself just because they contributed a quota, then they did it out of self righteousness and no other reason.

I personally believe that the only person you should owe "all of you" to is your maker or whatever you believe is the supernatural force behind your life(not John Legend or any other person lol).Being a people pleaser becomes a chore and a sin when you displease yourself in the process.

You cannot give what you do not have so do not go borrowing just to do so.

A little more self love. A little more self worth. A little more self confidence A little selfishness and self centeredness too actually. ( I said little ooooo) As funny as it may sound, only then can you be a truly selfless person rather than a recycled "If not for me, you will not be where you are today".

Respect and love yourself, respect all beings (animals too)and respect your environment. 

NEVER compromise your individuality... Don't give them too much you...

artemis: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.

artemis: Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.: Welcome! Nno! Ekaabo! *Insert whatever welcome is in Hausa* Those of you who already know me are aware that I am that girl who was blessed ...

Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.

Welcome! Nno! Ekaabo! *Insert whatever welcome is in Hausa*
Those of you who already know me are aware that I am that girl who was blessed with a little too much emotions and constantly seeks to abandon them wherever she can.... Those of you who do not know me, well, you can read the previous sentence.
This is a welcome note... to my world of madness... To a complicated puzzle i am hoping this blog posting would fix. To a vacuum... so filled yet so empty. To my world, where ellipses are raped and abused by the second...Welcome to my world...which for the first time, i have accepted to be mine.

Disclaimer: The above sentences are a failed attempt at being a deep writer...
You are probably like... Did. I. Just.Waste.My.Time.Reading.That???? *angry angry angry face*



All I really wanted to say was,
Welcome to my blog :)