A Short Ode To Boredom

Image from www.emaze.com

I am bored out of my existence.

Time is standing still.

Time is at the crossroads and has lost it's way and is just there... staring.

I am bored out of my existence.

Time is in a trance.

At least come out of it and tell me tales of my so dreamed of future.

Every song out of my million playlist sounds like it has been on repeat.

I am bored out of my existence.

It has been 12 pm for 4 straight hours now

It has been Monday for 3 straight weeks now

It has been June for 2 straight months now..

It has been 2016 for...oh well...for just 1 year now

but the point is...

If time doesn't feel like it is on a broomstick,

You are most likely not having fun.

5 Reasons She'd Bring Her Friends To The Date.

Image from www.huffingtonpost.co.uk

The inspiration for this piece came from the epic brouhaha that shook Nigeria Twitter last week. I shall give you the summary in the following format.
Boy asks girl tweep (friend from Twitter) out on a movie date.
Girl shows up with two other friends.
Boy doesn't pay for girl's friends' movie tickets.
Girl is disgusted and expresses feeling on Twitter.
Association of All Nigerian Demons (practicing and retired) come for her.
Girl sustains trailer jam injuries.
The End.

Anyway, I decided to approach this issue somewhat objectively and share a few reasons why a girl might bring her friends along to a date meant for just herself and a guy.

• Teen Mutant Excitement: This is a condition whereby a teenager is just excited about the fact that she is hanging out with a guy (most likely a really cute one) and decides to bring her friends to see the human monument. This date mostly happens at fast food joints so this is most likely the scenario.

Boy never esperred her to bring 2 friends.
Boy is happy he has 1k.
Boy buys 3 meat-pies, 1 bottle of soda, 1 bottled water.
Boy runs on empty.
Occasional sounds of annoying giggles fill the air.
The end.

• "One Chance": In this case, girl honest to God doesn't like you or care about your feelings. She knows it might not be anything more than a first date and is really not interested in making a good first impression. Here's a likely scenario.

Girl is quite certain of where she wants this date to happen.
Girl will most likely make a fuss about boy coming to pick her up or about how boy will foot transportation bills.
Girl only tells boy about her friend(s) 5 minutes to date.
Girl talks to her friends more than she talks to boy.
Frequent case of whispering amongst friends.
Friends order take-out packs.
Boy realizes he has just wasted time and money.
The end.

• Potential Kidnapper: This is a typical case where girl has really never met boy before or boy has shown some creepy tendencies. Boy will be lucky if girl brings only 2 friends but should be rest assured that his phone number and picture are with 5 other friends.

• Potential Ritualist: Girl has probably asked boy countless times what he does and boy either  evades question or says he is into "everything". Girl is suspicious of boy's lavish lifestyle and invites entire squad on first date.

• Don Dada Pablo Escobar: First day boy met girl, he bought her food to last her an entire week and replaced her slightly cracked screen Samsung with the latest I-phone. Girl's friends are utterly fascinated and girl wants to show off boy to them. Girl uses first date to achieve this.

The only time a girl will most likely not bring a friend on a date with you is if she truly likes you, respects and believes that there just might be a future. If you have not posed as any of the above mentioned men and she still does so, please let that date also be the last. She probably has a boyfriend and wants to toy with your emotions or there are people pursuing her from her village.

Water: The Soul's Milk.

Image from local-earth.org

You all probably know I am an extremely dramatic person by now. Sometimes for good...sometimes for bad lol. And to add that I majored in Theatre. Anyway the point of all that is the fact that for the sake of writing this post; you know just to get into the feel and errthang, I actually took a long sip of water and did the "aaaahhh" right after.
As you know, time to time I try to at least write some informative and educational stuff just so it's not a blog where I come to tell all my life woes in third person. Now picture me do all my talking in a very fast and high pitched annoying cheerleader voice.
Todaaaaay, we will be talking about water. Yep you read that right. Any way, I am not exactly going to write a thesis about it but I just really want to appreciate this strange yet life saving substance.
Let me share some "obvious" facts with you.

Did you know that about 70% of your entire body mass is made of water?
Did you know that almost 70% of the earth's surface is covered with water?
Did you know know that 70% of your smarty-pants brain is made up of water?
*Straight face* Even if you know this information already, act amazed!
Did you know that an average human can only survive for a week without water?
This next one is funny but did you know there is something called water intoxication?

I read somewhere that wherever there is water anywhere on earth, there is life. I don't know about you but this fact goes deeper than just another scientific discovery for me. There is definitely more to water. Especially because in the Bible, during creation, God separated water from water. Do you see where I am going with this? There was already water!!! Okay I think I just confused myself.

Water helps to flush and rid our systems of unwanted stuff.
Water lubricates your joints and nourishes your skin.
Water improves your mood and help[s you lose weight.
Water is the only tasteless substance that is sweet.
Water sacrifices itself for us to have our favorite beers and sodas.
Water is selfless.
Water is kind.
If water runs for president, I am voting for water.

I Am Deeply Sorry.

Image from www.graphics18.com

I honestly did not expect that my indiscipline in real life will one day come to affect my virtual life. I have written about this before and it is a shame that I am going down the exact same route.
One part of me tells me not to feel guilty for not posting anything in such an awful long time. "It's your blog. It is nobody's business if you post or not." She says. Although this may seem like "Oh well, she has a point", I choose to also believe that I have an obligation to anyone who has ever opened this blog to read whatever I have written. I mean, if not, I'd write my adventures and thoughts and opinions in a diary or a notepad somewhere.
So I am sorry. Deeply and honestly sorry for allowing cobwebs grow here. I hope you forgive me. I will definitely try to be a better person.
I hope you are having a nice day...